I’m currently sitting in a coffee shop, people watching and pondering. I see people meeting with others, people on business calls, people taking notes, people taking initiative. I see myself huddled in a corner, terrified someone is going to find this blog and discover my innermost thoughts.
What is stopping me from being one of those people taking initiative, leading conversations, creating?
I’m realizing that I’ve been a little lost as of late in my transition out of college.
At my first company, I was constantly told what to do. I thought this was pretty much the norm with jobs. Here’s a job description, now follow it to a T.
But now that I’m out of that company and at a new company, I have a ton of freedom and independence – which is really freaking awesome!
On the other hand, I’m starting to discover that I’ve lost touch with my creative side. I’m so used to adapting to others’ wants and needs that I haven’t really focused on my own.
I feel like I need constant validation when it comes to any ideas I have and if someone has a critique and proposes another solution, I’ll automatically discount my idea and go with theirs.
I think that means I’ve lost confidence in myself, which is actually a sad realization.
When you look at all of the crazy success stories out there, you recognize that they all had to take some risks to get there. We all know about the Steve Jobs’ roller coaster ride, or the notoriety of the Elon Musks of the world.
I’m so used to playing it safe. I need to figure out how to align with my creativity again. I need to write more, to read more, to become myself again.
I need to be confident in meetings, to speak up when I have an idea or question, to propose my ideas.
Yeah, I’m young. But I’m ambitious. I have goals that require all of the time in the world, within a world in which no one HAS time. I don’t have time to worry about what others are thinking of me (granted, to a certain degree…let’s not go crazy here). I need to regain that spark and that brain clarity.
I haven’t been comfortable with myself in a long time. I’m ready to get comfortable. I’m in it for the long haul.
I’m sure you’ll be hearing more from me soon.
Happy Friday everyone,